An awful week...but an awesome weigh in!

So this week was supposed to be my "get ready for the 5K". Get all my training in, get lots of rest, etc. Sick children sure can derail that process. Came home from work Monday night to find a shivering, feverish, RJ curled up in a blanket with Angela (better known as "Ah"), our amazing nanny, on the couch. Within 30 minutes projectile vomit all over my bed, in my living room, and suffice to say an awesome lead in to 3 sleepless nights. A trip to the Ped yesterday morning confirmed double ear infections, which explains the 3 am screaming requests to go downstairs, watch TV and "snuggle me mama". Camp Rock is not as cool at 3 am, I promise you. So after 2 very tiring days/nights, grumpy exchanges with a very tired Rich, and lots of "snuggling me mama", I was able to get to work yesterday and go to my weekly weigh in at Weight Watchers.

AHA! I expected 2 pounds, I was crossing my fingers for 3, but got 5.6! Could not believe it, considering I had one night last week with too many white wines, and a few cheats that didn't make it into the book on Sunday. But overall I worked the plan and continued to learn about making the right choices and shocked by the nutritional value of previous foods I was eating. Am I hungry? Yes, at certain times of day I am. Did I eat RJ's dinner on Monday night because he was too sick to eat and I was STARVING? Yes I did. But I sucked it up and added up those 9 points for a ridiculously small amount of food and wrote it down. (But hey, I got a few tater tots out of the deal). Overall I feel great about the loss this week, now up to almost 7.5 pounds in only 2 weeks!

My biggest concern this week has been the looming 5K, and the fact that there was no way I could run Tuesday morning at 5:30 considering I was up singing "Can't Back Down" with RJ at 3. So this morning, even though we were up again last night and I literally have been up since about 3 am, I still forced on those running shoes and headed out at 5:25 to meet my running partner. And though we were only schedule for a 2 mile run today, we did 3 to get ready for Sunday, and we even ran the last 3:43 uphill, you know, for fun. It wasn't bad at all! I am feeling good about Sunday and can't wait to cross that finish line. Between now and then, there are lots of real-life non Joy-centric things to accomplish to keep my mind off of it. :) And thus a whole other blog post needs to be devoted to stage three of my transformation. Organized wife and mother. If you thought running a 5K and joining weight watchers was biting off a big piece of pie, think again. My journey to overhauling the way I manage my life, my children's lives, and my home, is a much much bigger challenge. One that must be tackled, one day at a time, mainly for my husband's sanity. But that's a whole other conversation.

Can I do this?

This is the question that goes through my mind daily. Can I DO this? After having my kids, I decided I didn't want to be an overweight thirty something mom who gave up. I have worked hard to be in actually better physical shape than I was before having my kids, but still no where near where I want to be. How did I do it? Bootcamp started it all for me in the spring of 2009. I challenged myself to join Epic Bootcamp 3 mornings a week at 5:30 am (http://www.epicbootcamp.com/). I did multiple sessions, lost 2 sizes, felt AWESOME. Then winter came, I stopped working out and gained it all back. Spring came, I started up again, lost the weight, felt AWESOME, went on a few summer vacations and gained it all back. Do you sense a pattern?

So in August of this year, I decided to join my neighbors on a journey called Couch to 5K (http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml). I have never been a runner, never had the desire. But I felt like, hey, I did bootcamp, let's see if I can run. That was 8 weeks ago and this Sunday I run my first official 5K. I am SO proud of myself and my neighbors for getting this far. We actually have already started training for a 10K and have our eye on that. But with all this running, do you think I lost any weight? No. Not a single pound. I actually gained weight because I was so damn hungry from running so much that I was eating like crazy. And still going out Fridays and drinking a bunch of wine and then eating french fries.

So I woke up one morning and decided to join weight watchers. I am one of those people who need a plan. Tell me the plan, what to do and how to do it and I can make it happen. Once I go off the plan, disaster. I did weight watchers before, probably 8 years ago or so and did great. I think I lost 10-15 pounds, felt great, probably went on vacation and gave up and gained it all back. That pattern of mine! So what is different this time? I really want it. I really really want it. I want to know what it's like to walk into any store and see anything on the rack and know they will have a size that fits me. I want to not feel awful when I go to try on my favorite jeans and they are too tight...again. If I really want to do it this time, it can't just be 2 sizes, you know back to my weight in college. It has to be all out, the best shape I have ever been in. I am pretty sure I can get to a size 10, but a size six sounds scary. And hard. But I keep imaging the finish line. Similar to the hearing "abdominals!" at the end of an hour long bootcamp workout and feeling amazing that I made it through the hour without dying. I am certain similar to how I feel crossing that 5K finish line this Sunday. But most of all I think it will take long enough to get there that I will have learned how to change my eating habits for good. Or at least learn why my eating habits are the way they are, and how to combat them. So wish me luck! Here goes :)